Slug 45

This is Slug 45.  He's a detective, or what they call in the business a "gumshoe."  Or...well...I mean, you hope it's gum.

Ebenezer

This is Ebenezer.  He's kind of old and dried up.  I stashed him away in a shoebox several years ago.  I'm not exactly sure why.  I think I might have been having some issues at the time.

Zeebo

This is Zeebo.  He's from Uranus.  Yeah, I admit that's a pretty cheap joke.  But honestly, you knew it was coming eventually, right?

Sherman

This is Sherman.  He's dressing up as a spoooooky ghost this Halloween.  Yeah, I really don't think I need that sheet back.

Pepe'

This is Pepe'.  He owns his own restaurant, but it isn't doing very well.  They've had a lot of...health code violations.

Stretch

This is Stretch.  He's kind of the crazy one in the family.  He stays out long hours, late into the night.  I wait up for him and when he comes home, I always say, "Oh, I was so worried.  Thank goodness you're still in one piece."  Then we laugh and laugh.  *Sigh*  I think I need to get out more.

Maxwell

This is Maxwell.  He's climbing his way up the corporate ladder.  I'm very proud of him.  I still remember the morning he was born.  I had to induce labor with 6 cups of coffee.

Marshall

This is Marshall.  He had a very promising career as a stunt performer until he was involved in a tragic accident involving a fan.

Miguel

This is Miguel.  He was born after a one-night stand with a burrito.  He got a little...runny at the bottom.

Toby

This is Toby.  He's a...ummm.  Well, he spends most of his time...uhhh.  I guess I don't really know what he does.  He's just a worthless piece of shit.

Prof. Nutworthy

This is Professor Nutworthy.  His students often laugh at him behind his back.  They make fun of his bad breath and corny jokes.

Charlene

This is Charlene.  I'm not exactly sure what she does, but she makes lots of money off of her website steamingbrownslut.com

Xavier

This is Xavier.  He's some sort of...street performer or something.  We don't really like to talk about Xavier.

Gordon

This is Gordon.  He's a doctor of internal medicine.  Annnnd....He's single, ladies!

Ricky & Sticky

These are the twins, Ricky & Sticky.  Look, they're wearing matching sailor hats! Aren't they cute?

Mabel

This is Mabel.  I probably shouldn't have waited until after I turned 40 to have her.

Chester

This is Chester.  He believes he's a cowboy from the old west.  He's currently in therapy for his delusions.